sitting meditation

[acinteyyo]

Hello,
I have difficulties with sitting meditation. I practice anapanasati for about 2 years now, nearly every day. I sit on a cushion (zafu) with the right foot on top of the left thigh, sometimes on top of the left shank. After about 30 min. I feel pain around the right groin, right knee and right ankle. I already tried to change the posture of the feet the other way around and the burmese style. Changing the feet changes nothing, pain on one side ceases and arises a bit later on the other side. The burmese style is uncomfortable in general. The pain is getting very intense and I can't bear up against the pain. So I'm not able to sit more than 45 min.. I tried to sit through the pain but in the end I gave up, once I managed to sit up to 1 hour. But when I try to sit through it's more a fighting to maintain the posture against the pain with lots of thoughts and small movements instead of being mindful, anyway far away from one-pointedness. Now I try to sit at least 1 hour a day. When I can't bear up against the pain anymore I stop the sitting session (trying to maintain mindfulness) and start walking meditation. Sometimes when the pain ceases quickly I stop walking meditation after some time and practice sitting meditation again.
I would like to know if you have some advise for me? How do Bhikkhus handle such an issue?
I also tried to change attitude instead of posture but I'm not quite sure if I really did it, because when there's pain I'm not really concentrated anymore (it's very difficult not to get lost/involved with the situation) thus I'm not sure whether I changed attitude or not, in the end I changed posture, this is certain. What I mean is at some point I'm not able to observe how the mind acts, guess this is the point when there's no more mindfulness.
Do I have to or should I sit through the pain and try to keep up mindfulness? What is to do with the breath? Shall I still take the breath as meditationobject or should I switch to the pain? I try to gain some samadhi, would it be better in this case to go more into the vipassanā direction instead of samatha?
I think I never experienced pīti or sukha all I developed is some kind of numb awareness. Sometimes there's nearly nothing. No breath, no feelings (sensations and vedanā), here and there arises a thought but not completely, it's like as if I would have cought the thought while it arises and then it instantly vanishes, in the end there arises the pain which I described or too much thinking comes back.
I'm having a hard time, so help is very much appreciated.
best wishes, acinteyyo

[Bhikkhu Ananda]

Hello,
I have difficulties with sitting meditation. I practice anapanasati for about 2 years now, nearly every day. I sit on a cushion (zafu) with the right foot on top of the left thigh, sometimes on top of the left shank. After about 30 min. I feel pain around the right groin, right knee and right ankle. I already tried to change the posture of the feet the other way around and the burmese style. Changing the feet changes nothing, pain on one side ceases and arises a bit later on the other side. The burmese style is uncomfortable in general. The pain is getting very intense and I can't bear up against the pain. So I'm not able to sit more than 45 min.. I tried to sit through the pain but in the end I gave up, once I managed to sit up to 1 hour. But when I try to sit through it's more a fighting to maintain the posture against the pain with lots of thoughts and small movements instead of being mindful, anyway far away from one-pointedness. Now I try to sit at least 1 hour a day. When I can't bear up against the pain anymore I stop the sitting session (trying to maintain mindfulness) and start walking meditation. Sometimes when the pain ceases quickly I stop walking meditation after some time and practice sitting meditation again.
I would like to know if you have some advise for me? How do Bhikkhus handle such an issue?
I also tried to change attitude instead of posture but I'm not quite sure if I really did it, because when there's pain I'm not really concentrated anymore (it's very difficult not to get lost/involved with the situation) thus I'm not sure whether I changed attitude or not, in the end I changed posture, this is certain. What I mean is at some point I'm not able to observe how the mind acts, guess this is the point when there's no more mindfulness.
Do I have to or should I sit through the pain and try to keep up mindfulness? What is to do with the breath? Shall I still take the breath as meditationobject or should I switch to the pain? I try to gain some samadhi, would it be better in this case to go more into the vipassanā direction instead of samatha?
I think I never experienced pīti or sukha all I developed is some kind of numb awareness. Sometimes there's nearly nothing. No breath, no feelings (sensations and vedanā), here and there arises a thought but not completely, it's like as if I would have cought the thought while it arises and then it instantly vanishes, in the end there arises the pain which I described or too much thinking comes back.
I'm having a hard time, so help is very much appreciated.
best wishes, acinteyyo

So you did sit 1 hour. Right. So you know you can. You know it is possible for you to sit 1 hour. The more one sits meditation on regular basis the easier it becomes.

You could try sitting full lotus position and if after some time at first starts to feel painful sitting with one leg up on the thigh or with both legs horizontal may start to seem easier by comparison.

My recommendation is to keep meditating. Also going to associate with excellent meditation instructors such as at a meditation retreat can be helpful.

There are some things you can possibly try to get more comfortable. For example if you are sitting full lotus and you are getting a temporary ankle indent after awhile monastics can position their robe be the ankle. Women can postion their skirt be their ankle. One can put a piece of cloth by the ankle. Such adjustments can help.

And a lot of the meditation practice has to do with meditating, meditating, meditating on a regular basis so that the body gets in the habit of sitting meditation and feels more and more comfortable with it.

Feeling can be a meditation topic.

Nothing is great also. When we make a close study about perception in Buddha's teaching one finds the base of nothingness is the highest attainment with perception. The base of neither perception nor non-perception is higher and more sublime. The cessation of perception and feeling is higher and more sublime.

[mirco]

Hi accinteyo,

Two years are enough, don't you think? Try something new!
Sit on a higher cusion. Sit on a chair. There is no magic in sitting on the floor.

Did the Buddha teach: "Try to sit in the most uncomfortable position so that you will
have an unpleasant practice and a slow progress?" No, he said "joyfull practice and
fast progress" is best. They sat crosslegged back then because it was common to sit
on the floor anyway in that time in that contry.

No need of toturing yourself. Give it a chance and sit on a chair. Maybe the hour
will feel like ten minutes. Why? Because there will be no pain.

And don't forget: smile!

Be Well,
Mirco